Tuesday, 8 September 2009
It's one of the great ironies of life, I think. We want others to be like us, but we'd be bored rigid if they were.
Difference has a beauty to it: a wisdom to teach, a richness to convey, a journey to be had. But so often, we get side-tracked by the narrowness of our own vision, of our agendas, our diaries and appointments, our likes and dislikes. It's amazing how set in our own ways we can become... in fact, we can become so rigid, so unforgiving (yes, unforgiving) that we like it our way and nothing else counts.
I think this may be most beautifully illustrated in marriage, to borrow from my own life for a moment! The very strength of our marriage lies in the fact that we are very different: we bring unique qualities, talents, wisdoms and humour to the party. And yet...
Like many a new (and not-so-new!) wife before me, I wanted my beloved husband to be more like me. And he wants me to eat chicken! I thought I was accepting of the differences, but what was really happening was I was pushing my dislike of that difference underground... subtly, discretely out of view. Until it would waken from its slumber every few weeks, days - hours! - and bite me!
I've been doing some reading on marketing to women recently and I realised that there are really good reasons why I am the way I am. Between genetics, culture and personality, I'm me with good reason. And he's him with good reason - good reasons that benefit me when I can get past my own narrow vision and see the strength, beauty and richness that our differences bring to our marriage.
I think I 'got it' this morning. I saw the thought go through my head, "You didn't..." and I was able to release it.
He doesn't have to... That’s how I do it. There is no reason why he has to do it my way. Not a single good reason.
I sure hope I remember this insight tomorrow morning!