Why is it the simplest things are the hardest? What is most obvious often eludes me, while the obtuse point buried away at the back of an argument gets my full attention. I can make things too hard, too complex. I know that about myself.
This afternoon I was trying to decide what to do with James, and what activity to create because I was worried he would be bored. Or worse yet, under stimulated! For a while I played on the ground with him, then he went off doing his own thing; but I stayed drumming on a plastic bowl. For my own amusement.
While I played, I watched James. I realised he wasn't bored. He definitely wasn't under stimulated. He was exploring his environment in his own way, checking in with me every so often.
I have been so caught up in doing the best for him, that I have probably tried too hard. My earnestness(!) may well have swamped him.
Perhaps it's my boredom I fear. Perhaps in trying so hard I stifle him. And perhaps by relaxing a little more, maybe even accepting moments of boredom, I can create a calmer - yet richer - environment for us both.
If there were a theme to my insights, it must surely be this. Relax Jennifer! Enjoy it as it is, stop over-complicating it. And one of these days, I may even take my own advice!