Thursday 11 February 2016

Why are we afraid to love ourselves?

When a lesson, an insight, an expansion of consciousness wishes to be known to us, it pops up everyone.  Uncondtional love for ourselves.  I can't turn around, but there it is.  If I were to turn within, I might even find it there too!

Or would I?  I grew up in Catholic Ireland.  Fear, guilt and shame were so intimately woven into social, family and personal lives that we didn't even notice it.  It was just how it was.  So I've rather misconstrued the spiritual path what a probably familiar distortion; I've constantly striven to be better.

Now, on the surface, that's not the worst flaw, or even the worst distortion of the spiritual path, but it is, shall I say, a little childish.  It makes the Divine a parent, and turns me into a child, trying but constantly failing.  From the perfect perspective, I can never feel secure nor can I ever trust either the Divine or myself.  The constant failure, shame and frustration has worn  me down.  When I am this disappointed in myself, how can I love others unconditionally?

I am finally coming to understand, we cannot give what we do not have.  Acceptance, forgiveness and love are the foundation stones of life.

We are human.  Let's not fight that, let's accept life with all its mud and miracles, let's forgive ourselves when we land in the mud - or indeed, when we create miracles, as many of us Light Workers have previously feared success and the spotlight.  What was Jesus' last message on the cross?  Forgiveness.

Through acceptance and forgiveness we naturally arrive at love.  It is our essence and is always flowing, waiting to be noticed.  Provided we can keep out of our own way!

It may seem trite to say, but the relief to feel that it's ok to love myself.  It's ok to mess up.  It's ok to shelve the concept of perfection, and what is perfect anyway?  Perhaps perfection, like enlightenment, is in the last place we seek it.

Perhaps the acceptance of imperfection is true perfection.  Perhaps that comes, not from the human level, but by seeing our lives as if we were looking down on ourselves, watching the play of our lives unfold.  Would we be so critical then?  Or would we be accepting, patient, forgiving, loving, knowing that we are doing the very best we can in every moment.  Such unconditional acceptance and forgiveness can only be a blessing for a society and a world that seems increasingly fractured.  It's a small step for us, and a giant leap towards world peace.

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